I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
