My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
