i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
