But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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