Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
