She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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