before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize