I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
