dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
