I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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