I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
