there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
