the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So here I am, sexting at work.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize