when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
