Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
