Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
