Non-Jews are for practice
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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