covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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