no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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