Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
