My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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