You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
