Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
