real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
