there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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