Hey man sorry I got all grabby
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
