I queefed so loud it echoed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
