Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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