i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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