coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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