i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
