week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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