I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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