i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
