I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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