what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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