Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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