Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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