My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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