Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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