Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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