Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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