In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
