Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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