If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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