tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
