Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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