I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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