just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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