i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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