hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
