he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
