So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
