did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
