i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
