It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
